The Chickens are in the Hayloft.

This has to be one of the best descriptions of a comic book character I've seen in a long time.  It's describing Pete Wisdom.  Warren Ellis created the character back in the 90's.  He's a British mutuant who's pretty much an anti-hero.  There was a big kerfuffle when he hooked up with the (then) under-aged Kitty Pryde in Excalibur.  Apparently he's back with Captain Britain and others as part of the Skrull Invasion tie-ins.

The best part of the description?

"He's just one of those guys who always seems to have to be the one to make hard choices, with no better option. He stumbles into those, and does his best.

 "Of course, he also stumbled into the Queen's bed in ancient Camelot and stumbled into making a peace treaty between Avalon and Britain through applied shaggery, so not all of the stumbling is bad," Cornell added, referring to some of Wisdom's past adventures. "And he has a wryness about his own bad luck. I think he actively takes on doing the bad stuff himself sometimes, rather than have other people suffer, that he's still trying to make up for what happened to his Mum. He's quietly a very good guy. But very bad with relationships. And he not only would have no idea about any of the above, he wouldn't recognize it when he reads it. He's a kind of mutant British everyman, my absolute favorite lead character, my messed-up Mary Sue."