Oh wow, you and I have completely opposite views of Tony and Kate vs. Ziva and Kate! I mean, polar opposites!

I believe Tony pushed Kate's buttons because he could and she would always get all upset and insult him in a totally uncalled for manner - personal and not in proportion to the way he was teasing her - or yell for Gibbs. I hated when she constantly poked him in the ribs with her elbow, especially in Twilight when he had just gotten over the plague and had just been blown up.

Ziva takes what Tony gives her, twists it and throws it back in a way that can discombobulate him. She's very sexual and not as oppressed as Kate acted, and "shock" Tony instead of the other way around.